The Krage: Baby Bangs

KRAGE: (noun) an uncontrollable and sudden bout of rage resulting from a condition known as being Korean.

When I say I have a very serious baby bang problem.

I do not mean my bangs look like this:

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They do not whisper tenderly like this: 

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And under no uncertain terms could they be mistaken for sexy:

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My baby bang problem is real.  These days, there’s not much mystery left about all the beautiful and tragic things that pregnancy has to offer.  You can get down right graphic and gory about the strange things that happen to your body, swell out of your body and yes, leak out of your body when you are with child.  But why the hell doesn’t anyone speak about the physical phenomenon of post pregnancy baby bangs?!  It happened with my first pregnancy and now, 11 months after the birth of my daughter, I’m pissed.  My husband suggested this be my first Krage post because he’s so sick of hearing about my baby bang horror, but even he has turned to me on occasion over the last few months and agreed, that my “hair situation” is baffling.  I have normal bangs, but underneath the normal bangs is an aggressive layer of baby bangs accompanied by an unruly sprouting of more baby bangs on the other side of my head where there used to be a bald spot.  I was actually okay with the bald spot when I was pregnant.  I kind of swooped my hair and covered it or moved my part, it didn’t phase me.  But with what’s happening now, I can’t gel it or hair spray it down because then it looks greasy.  I can’t blow dry them down because it’s not a thick enough fringe…they’re BABY bangs.  I’ve tried oils and smoothing creams but after a few minutes when they dry, they just stick up again and now they’re all ultra defined baby bangs.  It’s just a horrible situation.  Ok, I’m stalling.  I really don’t want to actually show you what’s happening.  But if you’ve been kind enough to read this far into my Kraging, well, I’m grateful and feel you deserve a little something for your time.

So here it is…

AGGRESSIVE BABY BANG

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ACCOMPANYING SIDE SPROUT

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THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO TO COVER WITH MY REAL BANGS. LOOK AT ALL THAT BABY BANG HAPPENING AND ALSO WHY IS MY HUSBAND DOING THAT.

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